A Family Thanksgiving without a Fumble
Families often fumble a little during the Thanksgiving holiday, as many times it is the first or second time your college student has returned home since leaving in August. Put your game strategy in place to help ensure a winning weekend for all.
Make Sure Your Student Has a Space
It's common for rearranging to take place once a student has departed for college. Has your college student lost his bedroom? If so, make sure you prepare a space for him to sleep and store belongings, prior to coming home. This way, your student won't feel put out by or a burden on you.
Talk With Your Student About Lifestyle Changes
Rather than waiting until your student comes home, talk beforehand. It's quite likely that your student's sleeping, eating, dressing and thinking patterns have changed during the last couple of months. Try to avoid surprises by discussing these new habits and perspectives ahead of time.
Try Not to Plan Too Much Ahead
While it's likely that you will have a scheduled family gathering for the holiday, try not to plan beyond that-at least not without your student's consent. You will appreciate the quiet time together as a family and your student may want to organize gatherings with friends on her own, too.
Prepare Siblings for Your Student's Return Home
If you have other children, they will be anticipating your student's arrival, too. Remind them that your student will be very excited to see them, but also will have a lot to do while he is home. This will help alleviate disappointment if there is not enough time for extensive one-on-one interaction.
Review and Renegotiate Expectations Together
Even though your student's habits and behaviors may have changed, your expectations of her may still be the same. Keep in mind that your student has operated independently over the last months. Hopefully, she is more adept at making decisions. Make a point to talk with your student about expectations such as curfew, assisting with chores around the house, interacting with family members and more. Being proactive about this will help alleviate tense situations. If you are willing to adapt your expectations, let your student know this, too. Communicating your "plays" effectively is certain to score you a touchdown this Thanksgiving!
Take a Commercial Break!
Reconnect with your student by...
- planning a family game night-pull out the old board games
- going to a coffee shop
- sharing photos from the last couple of months
- attending a local high school event
- staying up late one night chatting
- cooking a Sunday brunch
New Thanksgiving Traditions
To usher in this new era of your family's life, why not incorporate a new tradition? Some possibilities include:
- Bake cookies together the night before your student goes back to college so he can share them with friends back on campus
- Take a Flannel Family Photo where you all wear flannel shirts or pajamas and strike a wacky pose!
- Instead of shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, work as a family to create a holiday package for a local family in need
- Address all the holiday cards while sitting around, listening to seasonal music and noshing on eggnog
- Encourage siblings to stuff notes in your college student's luggage so she finds them when she returns to campus
It's never too late to start a new tradition!
"Feelings of worth can flourish in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible-the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family." - Virginia Satir