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Self-esteem: according to Webster's Dictionary, means
a belief in oneself, or self-respect. And according
to many experts, it is something that often eludes many
college students. For one reason or another, many young
people suffer from a lack of self-esteem, which can
affect how they adjust to college life and function
as students.
What
are some of the signs of healthy self-esteem?
People who have a healthy sense of self-esteem, generally
speaking, will feel competent in their ability to cope
with life's ever-changing situations. They trust their
judgment in most matters and know where to go to get
help when a particular challenge arises. They feel capable
of making sound, responsible choices and can handle
change when it occurs. All these characteristics lend
themselves to a general state of happiness and contentedness.
But
healthy self-esteem should not be confused with egotism.
It is never a feeling of superiority over others. In
fact, if a person seems to need to remind others of
his talents or skills, it could be a symptom of someone
who is trying to compensate for a lack of self-esteem.
What
can you expect on campus?
At the college level, issues of self-confidence and
competence can surface for the first time as students
try to adjust to an unfamiliar setting and challenging
academic expectations. The good student might have to
work harder to maintain the same grade point average,
while the mediocre student might start off with strong
concerns about being good enough to make it at all.
Being away from home can also contribute to an unsettled
feeling and an otherwise self-confident young adult
might show signs of insecurity and emotional withdrawal
for the first time in his life.
Also keep in mind that students are adjusting to a new
social scene as well. Their relationships with friends
from home are changing even as new relationships are
developing. It takes time for students to find their
voice and identity in a different setting.
What
can you do to help them adjust?
These
dips in self-esteem are normal fluctuations when people
face new challenges. As students continue their academic
and social pursuits, and begin to enjoy some degree
of success, their self-esteem levels should start to
rise again. You can help by:
-
Offering praise, when appropriate. Make sure your
words of praise are reality based, and not wishful
thinking. False praise can actually make a vulnerable
individual more unhappy with himself, since he will
know that he does not deserve the degree of attention
he is receiving. But when a student acts responsibly
or achieves a goal, be sure to recognize him in a
meaningful way.
- building
on pre-existing strengths. All students have competencies
in various areas and often they just need to be reminded
of them, especially as they're being challenged right
and left by new things on campus. By focusing on their
strengths rather than weaknesses, all students can
grow in self-esteem and self-confidence. Encourage
students to continue challenging themselves in their
areas of competence so that they keep growing in skills
and expertise.
- Helping
students to avoid comparing themselves with others.
No matter what we do in life and no matter how hard
we try, there is always someone who can do it better.
If a student struggling with self-esteem begins to
look around at others who have greater skills and
achievements, she will back herself into a dangerous
psychological corner-and quickly. Remind students
that it is their responsibility only to try their
best. From that effort alone they can find personal
satisfaction and a healthy sense of pride. They do
not have to be the best at something in order to be
a valuable asset to the campus community.
- Encouraging
students to try new things. They can never know about
a hidden talent or personal strength if they never
try new things. Now is the time for healthy experimentation,
whether it involves a different academic area, a new
responsibility, a new interest or hobby, or even a
new group of friends. They might be surprised to find
what interests or talents are just waiting to be discovered.
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