Are you trying to better understand your family dynamics? Some experts say that birth order plays an integral role when it comes to why we are the way we are. According to Kevin Leman, author of The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, the following general characteristics fit various birth orders:

An Only Child or First-Born may be perfectionistic, reliable, a list-maker, well-organized, critical, serious, scholarly, an achiever, self-sacrificing, people-pleaser, conservative, supporter of law and order, believes in authority and ritual, legalistic, loyal, and self-reliant. Often feels confident that others take him/her seriously.

A Middle Child may be a mediator, have the fewest pictures in the family photo album, avoid conflict, independent, extremely loyal to a peer group, and have special friends. Can have most contradictory characteristics, such as being friendly and outgoing or quiet and shy. May be the one in the family who gets "lost."

A Youngest Child may be manipulative, charming, a bit of a showoff, a people person, good salesperson, precocious, outgoing, affectionate, uncomplicated, rebellious, critical, temperamental, spoiled, impatient and impetuous. May sometimes be viewed as absent-minded and have a tough time being taken seriously.

Of course these are generalities and characteristics may vary. Birth order is about the tendencies we have, based on where we fall in the family. Other factors that may influence birth order include:

• Spacing. If there are more than five years between children, a "second family" of sorts begins, causing children to take on different roles than those mentioned above.
• Gender. If there are two girls in a family and one boy (or some other mix), that can impact how birth order plays out.
• Physicality. The size of kids, their physical appearance, disabilities and more can turn "typical" birth order patterns around.

No one person fits all these characteristics. Birth order is but one tool to examine family patterns and relationships in that never-ending quest to figure out your family!
Source: Family Issues Facts from the University of Maine Cooperative Extension, http://www.umext.maine.edu/onlinepubs/htmpubs/4359.htm

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