In the News
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The Player's Tribune Tuesday, Mar. 20, 2018
The Toughest Call of My Life
"I was three days away from my NBA dream, and I walked away. ... Three days before I was supposed to leave Utah, I made the hardest phone call of my life. I called up the Bucks. I told them I wouldn't be showing up and I explained why. Now I'm ready to tell you why, too. ... My family went wild the day I signed with Milwaukee. ... It was as happy a scene as anything I've witnessed in my entire life. But it wasn't how I was supposed to feel. ... I was about to have a panic attack. ... It's still hard to even think about, you know? Just coming to terms with this idea that for so long, my whole life - every decision I've made, every day I spent practicing, putting in work in the gym so I could achieve this one goal...and then you're in that moment and it's not how you imagined it. ... As the summer went on, the strange sensations got more frequent. ... Then I saw the symptoms. Fatigue, sweating, heightened heart rate, unwanted thoughts. I pretty much checked all of the boxes. They were all of the same things I was going through. ... It would be nice to say that every day gets a little easier, but it's not that simple. ... Right now I feel so much better than I did a few months ago. ... Mental health is real, and can be helped, I don't think our country talks about it enough.