Self-Esteem

Overview

Self-esteem is your belief in your own worth and abilities. These can be both positive and negative evaluations about how you feel about yourself. Self-esteem is impacted by the messages you have received from others and the different experiences you have had. Adjusting to college and changes in adult identity can contribute to changes in self-esteem.

Symptoms

Low self-esteem impacts many aspects of life negatively. Below are symptoms and signs of low self-esteem:

  • Doubting or criticizing ourselves.
  • Believing we do not have the ability or worthiness to make achievements, causing us to not try as hard, such as in school or with relationships.
  • Expecting the worst to happen in different situations.
  • Being socially withdrawn because we believe we don't have the social skills necessary to interact with others.
  • Believing others are thinking negatively about us.
  • Finding it difficult to accept compliments from others.
  • Criticizing or treating ourselves badly.
  • Being reluctant to try new things or to trust our own opinion.
  • Creating low expectations for ourselves and our accomplishments.

Healthy self-esteem impacts many aspects of life positively. Below are symptoms and signs of healthy self-esteem:

  • We value ourselves and feel worthy and secure.
  • Ability to maintain a positive outlook.
  • We accept ourselves, and are less likely to experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.
  • We assert ourselves and express our ideas, needs, and opinions to others.
  • Confidence in our decision making.
  • We form secure, healthy relationships with others.
  • We hold realistic expectations of ourselves and others.

Treatment

Below are suggestions you can implement to help improve your self-esteem.

  • Engage in self-compassion exercises. Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend, rather than being mean or criticizing yourself.
  • Use positive affirmations. Make a list of your positive qualities and accomplishments and remind yourself of these when you feel low self-esteem. Read this list of qualities and accomplishments regularly.
    • Find a statement to repeat to yourself daily, such as, “I am awesome,” or “I can do this,” to remind yourself of your positive qualities and successes.
  • Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself what you are grateful for. Identify three things each day that contribute to the positive in your life.
  • Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone. This could mean talking to one new person in a class, or eating lunch alone in a restaurant. Do something you want to try, but are not used to.
  • Use positive self-talk to argue with your inner critic. Instead of believing the criticism you are trying to tell yourself, argue and try to find the reasons this is not true.
  • Avoid comparisons with others. If needed, stop following certain people on social media, or limit the time you spend on social media.

Resources

The resources below can be used to help you achieve and maintain healthy self-esteem.

Apps:

  • General Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – these apps teach you vital skills, and give you challenges and goals
  • Positive Activity Jackpot – designed to help you come up with pleasant, enjoyable events you can engage in. Free on Android devices.
Back to The CAPS Resource Library