Ask an Expert — Healthy Dating Relationship Tips for Teens

Adolescent relationships can bring joy, fun and shape a child’s future interactions. Developing social skills during adolescence influences friendships, romantic relationships, school and work. Parents play a crucial role in modeling healthy relationships and guiding their children through early friendships and romantic attachments.

According to an article on Nemours TeensHealth, healthy relationships share key traits:

• Mutual respect: Boundaries and privacy are honored.
• Trust: Both parties believe in each other’s integrity.
• Honesty: Openness fosters trust and connection.
• Fairness and equality: There is a balance of give and take.
• Support: Partners encourage each other in good times and bad.
• Good communication: Issues are discussed calmly and respectfully.
• Fighting fair: Disagreements are handled with honesty and without insults.
• Individuality: Each person maintains their own interests and friendships.
• Self-confidence: Secure individuals respect differing opinions.

Conversely, unhealthy relationships exhibit red flags. The University of Alabama Counseling Center encourages those dating to watch for these unhealthy traits:

• Controlling behavior: One person dominates decisions and isolates the other.
• Criticism and disrespect: Insults, emotional manipulation or belittling.
• Dishonesty: Lying, withholding information or stealing.
• Dependence: Excessive reliance on the other person.
• Intimidation and hostility: Frequent conflict, fear or threats.
• Physical or sexual violence: Includes any form of coercion or harm.

Research shows that 1 in 3 young people experience an unhealthy relationship. Parents should watch for these signs:

• Sudden secrecy or isolation.
• High stress, anxiety or depression.
• Extreme changes in appearance or eating habits.
• Loss of interest in hobbies.
• Fear of a friend or partner’s reaction.
• Defending unacceptable behaviors.
• Hiding bruises or unexplained injuries.

If an adolescent is in an unhealthy relationship, it can be difficult for parents to intervene. Instead of forcing a solution, provide guidance and open communication. Consider these tips.

• Clarify relationship terms: Discuss what dating, hanging out or hooking up means.
• Discuss relationship readiness: Conversations about one-on-one dating should happen before it begins. Pediatricians often recommend youth wait until they are at least age 16.
• Keep communication open: Talk about their friendships and listen more than you speak.
• Model healthy relationships: Demonstrate respect, boundaries, and problem-solving in your relationships to help teach children what to expect in their own relationships.
• Help set boundaries: Guide adolescents in establishing and maintaining healthy limits.

Balancing concern for safety while allowing autonomy can be difficult. Parents can support their children’s independence while ensuring their well-being by providing transportation to activities, encouraging group outings, meeting their children’s friends and parents and ensuring there is adult supervision at events and activities.